Lesson learned

Saturday afternoon I got a call from my old Bishop asking if I would be willing to sing Amazing Grace at a funeral today. I was excited to be able to say yes. I had never sung at a funeral before and was grateful to be asked. I found a beautiful version on Amazing Grace as done in the movie of the same title. It adds a chorus line which is very inspiring. After editing it down and switching out a stanza, working with my pianist Sunday, and my personal practicing (so glad I can play the piano and sing), I was feeling really good. I even was worrying a bit that the song would come off as showing off instead of being appropriate for the occasion. Yup, that confident.
And then the funeral began. I walked through the viewing right before. Peter was with me, home from school sick, and wanted to look. We then sat down and proceeded to listen to two beautiful speakers. I didn't know the old gentleman who had passed away. It was fun to smile with and laugh with these family members and friends as they reminisced over their loved one. After the eulogy finish, it was my turn. I decided to sing he first verse A Capella and was given the first note. I took a breath and began. I couldn't get past the words Amazing grace before I started getting choked up. I actually decided to pause for a second to compose myself before trudging forward. It didn't get much better. Looking out at all those people who I now felt connected to, feeling the spirit of love and unity, seeing the tears in their eyes- ah man. I was toast.
I really didn't think I would have that hard of a time singing at a funeral of someone I didn't know. But getting through that song was one of the most difficult things I have ever done (in the realm of singing). But boy did I learn my lesson quickly!
I got a lot of good feedback after the funeral. I even had one of the sons come up to me and tell me how much he appreciated my song and that he would always remember it. I wanted to apologize!
But I know, I know. I didn't sing off key. I didn't botch the words. I passed to those in the audience a feeling of love and tenderness, of grace and mercy. And those feelings of being overwhelmed were the exact feelings they were going through. Part of me wonders if it would have been as touching to them if I had sung flawlessly. Just part.
This was a good first-time experience for me. I either need to stand in the foyer until my turn next time, or just sing at enough funerals that I can better learn how to channel or control my emotions.
And in the end I feel what I said to this man's son. I was grateful to be able to share this important moment with them. So, thank you.