We've been busy!

Boy we've actually had things happening lately. Usually I don't want to write on my blog because then everyone will no how nothing ever happens here. Now I don't want to write because there are so many things to say. So how about I make a top ten things that has happened to this family over the last couple of weeks. This is in no particular order of awesomeness.
1. Saw Wicked with Randall
2. Made a rainbow cake for Andrew's birthday using skittles- Oh, we tasted the rainbow.
3.Went bowling as a family for Andrew's Bday- Andrew's idea.
4. Attended a ward swim party/potluck
5. Went "swimming" with the YW (sat out with the other "too cool for pool" Laurels)
6. Taught my last class for LA Fitness
7. Spoiled my hubby on Father's Day
8. Enjoyed a Father's Day dinner with my bro-in-laws family
9. Watched Looney Tunes cartoons (yes, it's important enough to get it's own number)
10. Started doing morning scripture study and journal writing with my sons

And now for pictures! YIPPEE!

My family

I know I should just re-title my blog from Just Us to Just Me because I hardly blog about my family anymore. I am not totally redeeming myself now, either. I couldn't get Facebook to upload these pics today and after hitting my head on the wall for an hour it occurred to me that I could just post them here. WELL DUH! So, this is my family as of today. The last time we took family pics we were all snazzy looking and I thought it would be nice to have a real family photo. So this is what we really look like after getting home from church. Everyone immediately changed out of their church clothes except for Blake and myself. And Blake only stays in the same clothes because he doesn't know how to unbutton his dress shirt yet. I have gone through periods of staying in or changing out of my Sunday clothes after church. Sometimes I feel as if staying dressed helps me remember that it's still the sabbath. Other times I realize there's no keeping up with three boys in a skirt.
I made shakes for everyone and forced everyone outside to drink them. Lovingly forced. So lovingly they might have thought it was their idea. I really enjoy sitting outside on the driveway, I find it very peaceful.
Anyway, while sitting there looking at the hodgepodge Larsen clan I thought, "How perfect. This is the way it really is. This is my life. This is our life." So here we are. Uncensored. No forceful happy faces or, "Everyone smile! Be happy!"
Just Us.

Pete-ography

A year ago,
almost, I upgraded phones. Since my old phone was still in good condition I gave it to Peter. I told him it didn't work as a phone anymore but the camera worked so he could use it to take pictures. He has enjoyed having a camera phone so much. He takes way too many pictures to post them all, but I thought I'd post a few. It's funny to see what he chooses to photograph. It's also funny how he'll take one thing and photograph it from many angles. He will also do videos but I haven't even taken the time to watch all of them. Most of his videos are of him talking or laughing or doing something silly. Also, probably a third of his pictures are of himself making all sorts of faces.
Yes, chances are he gets this from me, self-absorbed Mommy that I am. But I don't want to take credit for all of it. Every once in a while he really surprises me. He has a pretty good eye and some potential. It'll be fun when he's a bit older to get him a real camera and teach him how to use it.
This is just an example of how children at such a young age already come equipped with likes and dislikes. As parents we are like spies or detectives, keeping watch, unearthing clues, trying to steer our kids in the right directions so they can find themselves and be pleased with who they are and know who they want to be.
I stress a lot, as I'm sure most of you do, about which activities to put my children in. Between sports and arts and hobbies and and and. Oh, it's hard to figure it out. So I am grateful that sometimes our children make it obvious to us.
Thank you Peter, my favorite Pete-ographer.

Goals

We open the scene in the Young Woman's room. 12 giggly girls between the ages of 12 and 18 are sitting around talking about their goals.
"I want to go to BYU," one lady cries.
"I want to go on a mission," another one chimes in.
"How about getting married in the temple?"
All the girls cheer.
"Kids?
"5!" "2!" "Um, 1?" "12!"
"12?!"
More laughing and giggles.
Zoom in to the tall blonde girl.
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? Everyone has a number."
"I don't."
Scoffing.
"What. God hasn't told me yet."
Pshahs all around.

Fast forward fifteen years... and now what?

When I was a teen we talked so much about our futures, we set goals, made plans, stuck to our guns, fought for our beliefs, held our heads high, and achieved, achieved, achieved. Let's check my to do list.
1) Graduate HS- Check
2) Go to BYU- Check
3) Graduate from BYU- Check
4) Marry a Return Missionary- Check
5) In the temple- Check
6) In the San Diego temple- Check
7) Have kids- Check

Now what?
Maybe we can only set goals ten to fifteen years in advance and maybe there is a limit to how many future goals one should set. But didn't anyone think maybe we should have goals once we got married? Once we had those kids? Or did we just have this undercurrent of dewy eyed "And they lived happily ever after"?

And here's my other problem.
I was always told we should live without regret. That those who make the right choices, choose the right paths, when they are old and gray will be at peace because they have nothing to regret. But here's something to think about. Who says that those paths we thought were right and good were actually right and good and that those paths, those "good choices" "good goals", would be good paths. We can control our choices. We can choose the path that we travel. But we don't get to decide what lies along that path.

I'll be honest, because I'm not really complaining about my specific choices in my life, I'm not wishing I hadn't gotten married in the temple or had children or any of those things. I'm happy about my choices. But as those choices have turned into paths that I now ride like the currents of a river wild, who's to say I won't look back and have regrets. Maybe I won't regret my BIG GOALS but I can sure as anything regret some of the minor choices along those main paths.

Here's what I'm getting at. First, setting goals is important and we should always be making large goals to work toward or life will become meaningless no matter how grand those previous accomplishments were. Second, even when we accomplish our goals, no matter how good or right they may be, we are still susceptible to questioning, regretting, wishing, and wanting to change things.

No wonder people go through Mid-life crisis's. We work through most of our lives inventing ourselves and then begin the daily grind of being adults, working 9-5, raising children, and just being happy when a kid pees in the toilet instead of the floor. We loose that hope and drive that we use to have by having goals and dreams. Life is here for us to work toward something and once we get to that something we worked for, we need to pat ourselves on the back, take pictures, blog about it, then move on and make another goal. That's where we get meaning and purpose in life- in the working and the doing. Accomplishment is fleeting. It feels so good and then it's in the past. As someone once told me, you can only tell the stories about your mission so many times. Once a certain period is past, if you haven't created new experiences and new stories, you're in trouble.

I think that's how we begin to regret choices, even good choices, even minor good decisions. We stop making goals and stop have big accomplishments. We gradually loose meaning and the past meaning to our lives can no longer buoy us up. We begin to wonder why we even bothered so many years ago. Or we begin to think that we were such ignorant children back then to think those things would make us happy.

We were right. Those good choices would make us happy. But, as I'll say one last time, they don't carry us through the next 60 years of our lives.

So,what are your goals? How do you maintain meaning in your life? How do you propel life forward? Or is the ticking clock just shoving you along?

To Gym or Not to Gym

That is the question. What is the question? That is. That! Right there, in the title. Geeze.
So here's my deal. I now live 18 miles to the nearest LA Fitness- about a 25 minute drive. I teach two Aquafit classes a week ( Wed and Sat mornings). I get paid 14.00 a class.
Is it worth it?
I don't ever get to workout at the gym because I live so far away and cannot afford the gas money to drive there and back every day.
Is it worth it?
I love teaching my classes.
Is it worth it?
I cannot seem to go a week without some sort of drama where I feel like I'm going to get fired.
Is it worth it?
I continually get calls to substitute classes that are 45-60 minutes from me, which I repeatedly turn down, which makes me feel guilty and upset that they would even ask.
I've been reprimanded in front of my class by a General Manager because I upheld an LA Fitness policy that made a member upset.
Is it worth it?
It seems the only good thing about working for the gym is teaching my class and every other element is stressful, upsetting, and down right just sucky. Every moment that I'm not in class I think about quitting. Every moment I'm teaching a class and talking to members I cannot imagine giving it up. I was threatened to be fired by the Class Coordinator over the DFW area if I didn't teach more than one class while I was going through my move. Before my move I had previously had a great track record of having many classes, subbing very often, and just being a great team player. The second I have to back off and do something for myself I am mistreated and accused of only working there for the "perks"- $14 a class and a free membership worth $20. Need I mention that starting wage at most other gyms are at least ten dollars more per class? And I don't even get to use the gym for my personal workout anymore because I live too far and am just too poor.
Is it worth it?
I love the LA Fitness gym. I love the layout, the facilities, and the classes.
Is it worth it?
I figure I have two options:
1. I can quit.
2. I can start driving to the gym every day and taking advantage of my "perks", loosing money, but at least personally gaining more for the sacrifice of putting up with everyone's crap.
Did I mention that I really do love teaching?
Is it worth it?

P.S. Before you tell me, well Sara why don't you just go work for another gym? let me tell you that I did a miserable audition for 24 Hr Fitness, failed miserably, and refuse to do it again. I don't like the facility in my area (even though it's only a few years old), and their kids club policy of allowing only one parent to check kids in at a time creates a huge line that would necessitate me getting there very early just to teach and I think that's dumb. I know, there are smaller gyms. My Dad googled gyms in my area, thanks Dad. And I've thought about certifying as a Personal Trainer. I can teach classes out of my neighborhood, even... probably. But that doesn't fix my problem with what to do about LA Fitness.