Goals

We open the scene in the Young Woman's room. 12 giggly girls between the ages of 12 and 18 are sitting around talking about their goals.
"I want to go to BYU," one lady cries.
"I want to go on a mission," another one chimes in.
"How about getting married in the temple?"
All the girls cheer.
"Kids?
"5!" "2!" "Um, 1?" "12!"
"12?!"
More laughing and giggles.
Zoom in to the tall blonde girl.
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? Everyone has a number."
"I don't."
Scoffing.
"What. God hasn't told me yet."
Pshahs all around.

Fast forward fifteen years... and now what?

When I was a teen we talked so much about our futures, we set goals, made plans, stuck to our guns, fought for our beliefs, held our heads high, and achieved, achieved, achieved. Let's check my to do list.
1) Graduate HS- Check
2) Go to BYU- Check
3) Graduate from BYU- Check
4) Marry a Return Missionary- Check
5) In the temple- Check
6) In the San Diego temple- Check
7) Have kids- Check

Now what?
Maybe we can only set goals ten to fifteen years in advance and maybe there is a limit to how many future goals one should set. But didn't anyone think maybe we should have goals once we got married? Once we had those kids? Or did we just have this undercurrent of dewy eyed "And they lived happily ever after"?

And here's my other problem.
I was always told we should live without regret. That those who make the right choices, choose the right paths, when they are old and gray will be at peace because they have nothing to regret. But here's something to think about. Who says that those paths we thought were right and good were actually right and good and that those paths, those "good choices" "good goals", would be good paths. We can control our choices. We can choose the path that we travel. But we don't get to decide what lies along that path.

I'll be honest, because I'm not really complaining about my specific choices in my life, I'm not wishing I hadn't gotten married in the temple or had children or any of those things. I'm happy about my choices. But as those choices have turned into paths that I now ride like the currents of a river wild, who's to say I won't look back and have regrets. Maybe I won't regret my BIG GOALS but I can sure as anything regret some of the minor choices along those main paths.

Here's what I'm getting at. First, setting goals is important and we should always be making large goals to work toward or life will become meaningless no matter how grand those previous accomplishments were. Second, even when we accomplish our goals, no matter how good or right they may be, we are still susceptible to questioning, regretting, wishing, and wanting to change things.

No wonder people go through Mid-life crisis's. We work through most of our lives inventing ourselves and then begin the daily grind of being adults, working 9-5, raising children, and just being happy when a kid pees in the toilet instead of the floor. We loose that hope and drive that we use to have by having goals and dreams. Life is here for us to work toward something and once we get to that something we worked for, we need to pat ourselves on the back, take pictures, blog about it, then move on and make another goal. That's where we get meaning and purpose in life- in the working and the doing. Accomplishment is fleeting. It feels so good and then it's in the past. As someone once told me, you can only tell the stories about your mission so many times. Once a certain period is past, if you haven't created new experiences and new stories, you're in trouble.

I think that's how we begin to regret choices, even good choices, even minor good decisions. We stop making goals and stop have big accomplishments. We gradually loose meaning and the past meaning to our lives can no longer buoy us up. We begin to wonder why we even bothered so many years ago. Or we begin to think that we were such ignorant children back then to think those things would make us happy.

We were right. Those good choices would make us happy. But, as I'll say one last time, they don't carry us through the next 60 years of our lives.

So,what are your goals? How do you maintain meaning in your life? How do you propel life forward? Or is the ticking clock just shoving you along?